I woke up early this morning with this in mind : “dia-meter : a tool to measure how close we are to common meaning, by sensing the immediacy of its emergence”. I had the feeling it was somehow related to the diameter in a circle. So I started to write and this is what came up.
Measuring common meaning
Measuring common meaning would be the process by which we identify how close or further apart we are from each other’s point of view. Common meaning is near or is there when we sense each other’s point of view as being a part of the “same circle”. When we feel our individual perspectives are participating together in describing the whole. When that happens, we usually feel we belong.
Note that the whole could be any size of group. With a lowercase “w” it would refer to a specific topic or situation being at the center of any given group. With a capital “W” it would be a wider reality, related to the human condition and life in general – yet seen through the eyes of the group experiencing it.
At the individual level, common meaning is near or is there, when things simply “make sense”, when they feel “right”. This happens when our thoughts/mind, our feelings/heart and our intuition/womb become aligned. It may last a very short period of time, as it may last longer. Yet, when it happens, we know it. There is a flow inside of us. Sometimes, when we are paying attention, we can even feel it physically (as tingling, for example).
When individuals in a group feel something makes sense, there is an indication that common meaning is emerging, that dialogue, in the Bohmesque sense or the word, is taking place. When that happens, groups access collective wisdom. They access “thruth”. Not the kind of truth that is imposed as being the only true truth. More like the kind of truth that is not spoken, but rather heard. And when we hear it, we know it. Again, it just makes sense. Indeed, things make sense to each person in a unique way. The key is to share our unique perspectives openly, honoring each other’s point of view, so that we nourish the common meaning of the group.
What about the tool, what does it look like ?
Each one of us has access to this “tool”. It is so intrinsic to our experience, I would even say it is us. The thing is we need to practice how to use it.
So, here’s a non-exhaustive set of abilities that may help us using this tool :
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sensing the distance between each other’s perspectives. How close or far away does their point of view feel like ? Does it feel there is something in common ? Is it clear what that is ? Or, does it feel like their point of view is “totally messed up” ? If it feels “messed up”, the next point can be of help.
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understanding, feeling and embodying a holographic frame of being. Understanding (intellectually), feeling (in “the gut”) and embodying (in our interactions) that each person gets to see a portion of the whole. No matter how far their perspective is from ours, they are seeing another bit of the bigger picture. Now, there is no pressure or need to agree. And there is certainly not much that will come out of trying to convince each other. Honouring each other’s point of view, we may as well coexist in the same room and share the same planet. And perhaps one day, we will start to see their perspective and understand what their point of view is all about (where they are “coming from”). Again, with no need to agree or to adopt it as ours. Seeing and understanding it is already significant.
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listening in a way that pays as much attention to the words being used than to the meaning that they are being given. In other words, hearing what people want to say, not only what they are saying – careful not to make assumptions, best thing to do is ask if not sure.
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developing and nourishing a relationship with one’s self, through whatever practice suits you best – contemplative arts, writing, walking, talking to your self, dancing, etc. The point is to trust our intuition, be compassionate towards our own selves, stay away from self-judgement and be encouraging when we feel like doing or saying something. After all, we are the person that is better able to know our selves and be there. If we do not look up and look after our selves, then who ? If we do not love and care for our selves, then why would someone else ?
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taking care of our bodies, with an appropriate diet, an adequate level of exercise and the necessary rest. This is fundamental, since it is through our bodies that we experience life. Disregarding this fact may have a significant impact on the quality of our experience. Still, no need to blame or judge one’s self for anything, doing our best is the best we can do. So let’s just pay attention to our bodies, our temples as the East sees it. Note : when operating from this type of awareness (this “tool” we are talking about), we may want to drink more water than usual, specially if we start to feel tired or get headaches in meetings or other gatherings. Sometimes, interacting in such way can be demanding.
As we mentioned, this list is non-exhaustive, feel welcome to add your voice and keep the conversation going in the comments below or by contacting nous [at] lupuna [dot] com
Thanks for reading ! Hopefully, this will contribute somehow to your life :)
Juan Carlos!
I absolutely love this post – there is so much invisibility in our connections that we have to rediscover our natural ability to connect with each other in meaningful ways.
Your words have definitely contributed to my life… we are aligned and I am thrilled to know you.
Yours in growth,
Sonia
I like how you say “to rediscover our natural ability” :)
Like a latent potential just waiting to be rediscovered, uncovered, free. Just waiting to be.
I’m also happy to know you, thank you Sonia !
:)
So interesting and thought-provoking! I remember talking about this in November, and now, coming back to it again a few months later, I’m finding new angles, new connnections. I especially love the idea that we’re all looking at any situation from different points around the same circle. That helps me open up to different perspectives. Thank you, Juan Carlos! :-)
Definitely! Keeping it in mind makes it easier to stay curious and to open up to what others see and have to share.
Also, replying to your comment got me thinking about the circle. In the circle there’s also a notion of distance, and it makes me wonder: What if we find ourselves too far away from each other, even though in the same circle? What if the circle is so big, that what we see doesn’t seem to be the same just because of the distance in between? In that case, would getting closer be a way to common meaning? I like to think it would be a way. And the metaphor is just lovely: “getting closer to each other”.
Thank you Michelle! :)